I'd like to say
A few words
In defense of our country
Whose people aren't bad
Nor are they mean
Now, the leaders we have
While they're the worst that we've had
Are hardly the worst
This poor world has seen
Let's turn history's pages, shall we
Take the Caesars, for example
Why, with the first few of them
They were sleeping with their sister
Stashing little boys in swimming pools
And burning down the city
And one of 'em
One of 'em appointed his own horse
To be Counsel of the Empire
That's like vice president or something
That's not a very good example right now, is it?
But here's one:
Spanish Inquisition
That's a good one
Put people in a terrible position
I don't even like to think about it
Well, sometimes I like to think about it
Just a few words
In defense of our country
Whose time at the top
Could be coming to an end
Now, we don't want their love
And respect at this point's pretty much out of the question
But in times like these
We sure could use a friend
Hitler
Stalin
Men who need no introduction
King Leopold of Belgium, that's right
Everyone thinks he's so great
Well, he owned the Congo
He tore it up, too
Took the diamonds
Took the silver
Took the gold
You know what he left 'em with
Malaria
You know, a president once said
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
Now it seems like we're supposed to be afraid
It's patriotic, in fact
Color-coded
What we supposed to be afraid of
Why, of being afraid
That's what terror means, doesn't it
That's what it used to mean
You know, it pisses me off a little
That this Supreme Court's gonna outlive me
Couple young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now, too
But I defy you, anywhere in the world, to find me two Italians as tightass as the two Italians we got
And as for the brother
Well, Pluto's not a planet anymore either
The end of an empire
Is messy at best
And this empire's ending
Like all the rest
Like the Spanish Armada
Adrift on the sea
We're adrift in the land of the brave
And the home of the free
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye