Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Adam Sandler

He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22 It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?)

Best Friend Adam Sandler

When I'm at the bus stop and you drive by in your mom's car You tell me the bus already left Cause you're my best friend!

The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company.

Cool Guy 4 Adam Sandler

[SEAN:] Yeah baby, I'm strong as a bear, I want to wrap my big arm around you... [GIRL #4:] Oh my. [SEAN:] You want to be spinning around for some more lovin' I got for you?

Gay Robot Adam Sandler

Pass the fuckin ball! What an idiot! Fuck it, I'm gonna go get another beer. You guys want one? Alright... Two Please! Oh boy... Hahahaha [phone rings] Hello?...

mr. bake Adam Sandler

I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best

The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler

When I was just a little wee lad I hopped on the lap of my dear old dad Something jumped and poked me good 'That' he said 'just me morning wood' A little tin soldier's marchin by Sergeant major unzips

Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler

I'm sit'n in my chair Watching my TV It's not even on But theres plenty for me to see I just lit, some crazy ass shit That my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fuckin wasted It's the best shit i ever tasted

The Goat Adam Sandler

Well, I just couldn't believe it After all theses years I finally had a friend He trimmed my beard He scraped my hooves I prayed it would never end But when we got to his house There was no wife

The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler

Well, I just couldn't believe it After all theses years I finally had a friend He trimmed my beard He scraped my hooves I prayed it would never end But when we got to his house There was no wife

bad boyfriend Adam Sandler

Why can't you be nicer to my friend? They're gonna be here soon Last time they were here You just sat in the bedroom Friday you went out with your fat friend Lou Fuck you!

Calling Home Adam Sandler

When you hand them out to the other kids, you say 'hi, my name's Tyler, here's to a sweet first year at college!' Uh... okay...

the goat song Adam Sandler

Well, I just couldn't believe it After all theses years I finally had a friend He trimmed my beard He scraped my hooves I prayed it would never end But when we got to his house There was no wife

Secret Adam Sandler

But if I did that then it wouldn't be, a secret I've gotta move my body tonight, I'm gonna go dancin' Dreamin' bout the nights at the club, with the fun and romancin' Mommy sees the look in my eyes, she

What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler

What the hell happened to me? I used to have fun throwing snowballs. With my best friend Billy. Then Mom would make us cocoa if we got too chilly. But now I only get excited when I see a girl pee.

Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler

M1: "Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!" [Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!

Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler

Snug as a bug in a rug playin Dig Dug, my friend! Uh huh... I'm all set to give this skitchboard a whirl! Okay, we should really put a helmet on you first...

the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny

The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler

Me, i'm the lonesome kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny face

Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler

Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from

sweat beatrice Adam Sandler

Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden

ode to my car Adam Sandler

Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking

lunchlady land Adam Sandler

"The Lunchlady" [Laughing] Woke up in the morning Put on my new plastic glove Served some reheated salisbury steak With a little slice of love Got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of Just

Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler

what's the matter honey, are you not feeling well?

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses

The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only

the chanuka song Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the

Joining The Cult Adam Sandler

Because this guy, Russell he's the leader-guy of the cult " Allen: " yeah " Sandler: " he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun being bad, like the beast can't come out because the

Oh Mom... Adam Sandler

Silverware clicking] M1: "Can you pass the beats please?" F1: "Here you go" M1: "Thanks" Brad: "Hey Mom, guess what? I got invited to a party tonight! And I'm gonna go if that's ok with you."

Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is.

The Cheerleader Adam Sandler

We'll be 'cause we're the Tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - Yeah!" [No response] Cheerleader: "Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!" [Still no response] Cheerleader: "Come on!

Welcome My Son Adam Sandler

Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed?

The Mule Session Adam Sandler

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's

The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler

the party bustin all ya'lls asses I'm hidin in the corner wonderin where the fuck's my glasses Can't afford no rims my my fuckin dick's so small no bitch can suck it I don't pop 9's i got weak rhymes back

at a medium place Adam Sandler

Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls

The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler

And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

Whitey Adam Sandler

Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth

the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler

[Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!"

four years old Adam Sandler

Hey Why'd you wake me from my nap? I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass?

At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace. Play with my balls and tell me how big they are. Honey rub your beaver up and down my face.

7 Foot Man (Live) Adam Sandler

We just wrote this song on the bus the other day so just sit back and relax I'm the 7 foot man, I've commited no crime, Bumping my head into doorways, It happens all the time, I'm 7 feet tall, And I repeat

Secret (Orange Factory's 'Shhh Don't Tell Club') Adam Sandler

Things haven't been the same Since you came into my life You found a way to touch my soul And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go Happiness lies in your own hand It took me much too long to understand

Crazy Love Adam Sandler

a pair of scissors a long time ago (ha-ha-ha) [Adam:] And you don't care that I collect dead animals from the side of the road then pretend they're alive and think I'm a famous football player [Lisa:]

zitty van zittles Adam Sandler

Well, I had myself a girlfrield For almost two whole years We had no secrets We had no fears There was nothing we wouldn't do When we were in the sack She'd even pop the zit on my back But one

my little chicken Adam Sandler

When I'm feeling down And feeling sad You come around And make me glad I got you Oh, my little chicken I love your feet I love your breasts I love the way you eat gravel To help you digest

corduroy blues Adam Sandler

That pissed off all my Momma's friends And made my big-boned sister irate But now I'm a man And all that frolicking has caused my ego to hurt 'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone I'm to embarrased

Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler

Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming." Richie: "Ok.

Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler

As you may, or may not know, Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to a throat infection.

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall."

The Peeper Adam Sandler

The peeper, The peeper, Whats going through his head? Whoah! Climbing the tree. Slowly, quietly, Looking for next branch. Found it, got it. Window height, great view. Settlin' in, keepin it quiet.