Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler

I went around the country and taped people having sex [Man:] Uh huh [Adam Sandler:] I also taped people workin' out in a weight room man.

The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler

if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and the different entrees with the dspe-dspe-dspe-dspecials today, and the the and...I'm watching my weight

corduroy blues Adam Sandler

When I was a boy There was no limit to what I could eat Shake after shake after shake after shake Followed by all kinds of red meat Metabolism runnin' around so fast My body never gained to weight

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

So how do I explain my little cranial expressions Intuition, premonition, or demonic possession?

Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler

Momma: "Tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwhich?" Tracy: "No mom, I'm trying to lose weight. Guy said I'm getting fat." Momma: "What? You look beautiful honey. He's crazy."

The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler

whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a house husband, you don't have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there, there, I'm, I'm, the-, I'm, I'm hoo, honeymoon in the Poconos, with the hoo, woo hoo sex

The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie Adam Sandler

This fucking boat's got more balls then the fuckin celtic's lockeroom. yeah but it musta cost you like 50 Gs or something. One might think that but guess what? It didn't cost me jack shit.

Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler

As you may, or may not know, Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to a throat infection.

Listenin' To The Radio Adam Sandler

I wish I was arm in arm with Jean genie Walkin' down the aisle Oh yeah, all right But I got no Mary Jane There's no Sloopy or Dancin' Queen I'm just a fool in the rain Waitin' on my Billie Jean I want

Calling Home Adam Sandler

You mean left or right or... what do you mean? What side of the room? Did you go window or electrical outlet? There's, like, five outlets and the window's in the middle of me and my roommate...

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile." Buffoon: "One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that! It was all fucked up!" Dean: "I'm sure it was.

Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler

Oh yeah, should I pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin.." [She hangs up the phone again] Richie: "Give me a break..."

The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler

all you candy asses thinkin ya'll real pussies ya'll ain't seen shit yet eh yo man let em know Oh yeah, guess who's back it's the mother fuckin pussy with the little nutsack don't care about cheddar or

four years old Adam Sandler

I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass?

zitty van zittles Adam Sandler

Well I got a pimple and I don't know why It keeps growing in the same place I can't reach it with my left or right hand I wish it was on my face It's four days old And it hurts so bad But it's ready

The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler

eats together and the CarDeli Bowser form Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli Paul Newman's half Jewish, Glodie Hawn's half too Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew You don't need "Deck the Halls" or

Zittly Van Zittles Adam Sandler

well i got a pimple and i don't know why it keeps growin' in the same place i can't reach it with my left or right hand i wish it was on my face it's four days old and it hurts so bad but it's ready for

the chanuka song Adam Sandler

together at the Carnegie Deli Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew You don't need "Deck The Halls" or

bad boyfriend Adam Sandler

Or a museum? There's an art gallery two blocks away And we've never been there We always do what you wanna do Fuck you!

Cool Guy 2 Adam Sandler

[SEAN:] So, is your body looking like michaelangelo made you or some shit. [GIRL #2:] Thanks Sean, that's so sweet.

Whitey Adam Sandler

at a nice price Cuz when I leave the mall, I 'reff' Youth League BASKETBALL and to look your best... never hurts But the greatest thing of all If the truth be told Here at the mall its never too hot or

red hooded sweatsuit Adam Sandler

, Is it your fifty cotton or your fifty poly? I don't knoooooooww ohh ohh hoo hoo hoo.

Best Friend Adam Sandler

Dont call you Pit Stains or Marphy (Best friends!) Way back when you waved hello! (Best friends!) Don't hold their nose and point at you (Best friends!)

Red Hooded Sweatshirt Adam Sandler

, Is it your fifty cotton or your fifty poly? I don't knoooooooww ohh ohh hoo hoo hoo.

Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler

Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?" [Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin' hard on!

The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler

I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism." Buffoon: "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl."

The Hypnotist Adam Sandler

[three farts in succession] Gary Phelps: Are you gonna keep doing that, or...? Dr. Stewart: Hmm? Just concentrate now. That's it. Close your eyes. Keep your eyes closed. Okay. Now.

sweat beatrice Adam Sandler

hair's up like Conway Twitty's pompadour With the smile of Guy LeFleur She got the ups and downs like an elevator But deep inside she's a marshmellow smore Can bake a cake as big as Jupitor Either or

Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler

up like Conway Twitty's pompadour With the smile of Guy LeFleur She got the ups and the downs like an elevator But deep inside she's a marshmallow s'more Can bake a cake as big as Jupitor Either/or

Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler

pickin' daisies ("they'll all be working for you someday") pickin' daisies ("they're just jealous of you") pickin' daisies ("next year you'll go to private school") can't play sports or games, i'm only

The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler

I don't give a shit if it is or isn't! Say it is! Alright! Your dick is bigger than a Tic Tac! Damn right, Tic Tac, cashew, thumbtack, half a grape, it's bigger than all that shit!

Memory Lane Adam Sandler

[M1:] "Oh my god, ahhhhhhhhhhh" [car chrashes] "Hey that last skit was written for a reason, if any of your buddy's have fooled around with a 60 year old man, don't throw them out of your car, or

Joining The Cult Adam Sandler

Sounds of Basketball being shot around] Sandler: "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult." Allen: "Now, that's ridiculous." Sandler: "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too."

Somebody kill me Adam Sandler

you don't know how much I need you while your near me I don't feel blue And when we kiss I know you feel it to. But it all was bullshit, it was a goddamn joke, and when i think of you and that guy...

steve polychronopolous Adam Sandler

- "Polychronopolous" I'm a big fuckin' dick I'm a pain in your ass I drink all your beer I'll eat the last slice I'll give you charley horses I'll pull your shorts down at the beach I always need...

The Goat Adam Sandler

I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I sme...

Grow Old With You (한글번역판) Adam Sandler

I wanna make you smile Whenever you're sad 그대가 슬플때 내가 그댈 웃게하고 싶어요 Carry you around When your arthritis is bad 그대가 관절염으로 고생할때 그댈 업고 다니고도 싶어요 All I wanna do is Grow old with you 내가 원하는 단 한가지는 그대와 함께...

voodoo Adam Sandler

Hey there Mr. Leaf Blower Man Keep it down for goodness sake It's way too early in the morning Can't you please use your wooden rake? You choose to ignore I Even though me hungover That's not bein...

moyda Adam Sandler

Schnine He's a pretty good guy He's nice to his neighbors You can count on him to buy your school candy bars He's a real nic guy He's always got the jumper cables He'll take your mail in when you'...

the goat song Adam Sandler

I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I sm...

the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler

[Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!"

dip doodle Adam Sandler

Jabawokee ding dong slip slap slee Dipstick paddywhack pee pee googalee gee Polly wolly sling slang skooey dibbely doo Wing wong ping pong king kong Cheech 'n Chong hop hip kagagoogoo Hickory dic...

lunchlady land Adam Sandler

"This is a song..." "This is uhh, This is a new song..." "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..." "The Lunchlady" [Laughing] Woke up in the morning Put on my new pla...

the beating of a high school bus driver Adam Sandler

"And now, the sever beating of a high school bus driver." [Kids getting on the bus] "How are ya, Bryan?" "Good morning, Lisa." "Good to see ya, Tommy!" "Hey, good morning, Cyle! Nice new backpack...

fatty mcgee Adam Sandler

[Talking quietly] M1: "Ms. Murphy is such a pain, man." M2: "We just had a test a week ago. Now we gotta take another one tommorrow. This sucks!" M1: "And it counts for 80 percent of our grade." M...

the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny ...

Forgetful Lucy Adam Sandler

La-woo-kee-low is the place Where I first saw your face We liked each other right away But you didn’t remember me the very next day Forgetful Lucy Has got a nice caboose-ie I used to trick you int...

the beating of a high school janitor Adam Sandler

"And now, the sever beating of a high school janitor." [Mopping sounds] Mop, mop, mop All day long Mop, mop, mop While I sing this song [Sound of someone walking towards him] Gonna wax the floor...

the beating of a high school spanish teacher Adam Sandler

"And now the severe beating of a high school spanish teacher." [Lecturing] [Writing on chalk board] "Juan es muy guapo." [Door opens, walking towards her] "Hola." "Senor?" "Hay problema?" "Mi ca...

at a medium place Adam Sandler

Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls and...