What Am I Supposed To Do

Ann Margaret


What am I supposed to do?

Can I be a friend and honest to myself too?

Well, it's not what I want--

it wasn't any consious choice.

I've spent more time fighting it

and when I do that I'm doubly hit.

I'm so nice but not just right.

I don't know why I even fight.

I wish I could get it through:

"I'm the right one for you!"

At least, I think so. That's how I feel..

But I couldn't be, not with the way I've acted.

Wish I could sit on my heart and get the feelings compacted.

I've pursued this one for so long..so long..

it felt so right I never considered I that might be wrong.

I'm not being realistic; I need to pack up and go on.

I'm creating these problems within myself:

I've ignored my own feelings for how I want to feel.

I haven't considered that she doesn't secretly want me..

that's the thing.

I haven't allowed her any freedom, allowed her to be herself.

The person who I love is only in my mind,

put on the highest pedastle I could find.

And it's not that I curse because it's so tall,

it's that I relish the pain every time I fall.

I don't even love her. No.

If only I could say that honestly so.

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