Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable, David Hume could out-consume, Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy begger Who could think you under the table, Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel. There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel. And Wittgenstein was a beery swine 'Bout the raising of the wrist. Socrates himself was permanently pissed. On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. Plato, they say could stick it away, Half a crate of whiskey everyday. John Stuart Mill, of his own free will Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dram, And Ren DesCartes was a drunken fart Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed, "I drink, therefore I am." A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.