Fat and weak, what a disgrace
Guess the champ got too lazy
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain
But he's no bum, he works down the street
He bought the neighborhood deli
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say
Try the rye or the kaiser
They're on special tonight
If you want, you can have an appetizer
You might like our silami and the liver's alright
And they really go well with the rye or the kaiser
Never eats while on the job
He heard it's good to stay hungry
But he makes a pretty mean shishkabob
Have a taste, they were made fresh today
Try the rye or the kaiser
Or the wheat or the white
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer
Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight
But you just can't go wrong with the rye or the kaiser
So today, his deli comes first
Steady dreams of his past days of glory
Goes to the back and beats on the liverwurst
All the while you can still hear him say
It's the rye or the kaiser
It's the thrill of one bite
Let me please be your catering advisor
If you want substitutions
I won't put up a fight
You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser
The rye or the kaiser
The rye or the kaiser